While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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