ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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