We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
