Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
