If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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