Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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