You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
