Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
