It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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