So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
