I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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