A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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