Swine flu is the new snow day.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
