i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Randomize
