he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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