i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think I sprained my soul last night
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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