what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
