I look better un-naked...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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