what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
