dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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