i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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