If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
