I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
