she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
