SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
