When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
