Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
