Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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