We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
