ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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