woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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