Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
