Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
