I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
