U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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