don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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