So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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