Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
