Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
