Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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