he wants to bone in the snuggie
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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