Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
