She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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