2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
