everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
