you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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