Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
