He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
