Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Randomize
