Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
