garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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