You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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