he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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