i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
