Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
