she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
