Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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