Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
