Soap is not a condiment
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
