pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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